22 killer gifts for the crime and mystery lovers in your life

If you’re reading this, you either love the crime or mystery genres or know someone who does. Maybe even both. And who wouldn’t? It’s full of intrigue, hidden clues, and justice for the victims (most of the time). Whether you or someone you know loves the settings in cozy mysteries, the gritty P.I. in detective stories, or the forensics in a police procedural, you’re sure to find the perfect gift on this list!

Don’t believe me? Allow me to walk you through an average day to show you how useful these items can be. (Yes, I’ve purchased some for myself and others, and you’ll want to too!)

1—When you wake up in the morning, one of the first things you might do is take a shower. What better way to get you in the crime-solving mood than walking into your bathroom to be confronted with this Scary Stalker Curtain from Amazon? I mean, what are the odds it serves as a good cover for a real killer who could be standing outside the tub, waiting for you to have soap in your eyes?

2—After a relaxing, murder-free shower, you’ll want to put on some comfy clothes. You slip on your favorite pants and the new Crime Scene Chalk Outline Classic T-Shirt you got on Redbubble.

3—As you walk out the bedroom door, you realize your toes feel a bit chilly. Good thing you thought of it before you got too far and had to walk all the way back to your room, saving at least thirty seconds of your life you’d otherwise never get back. To keep the theme going, you grab the I’m Basically A Detective Socks you got from Redbubble on the same day as your shirt.

4—Time for that morning cup of coffee or tea! You pull your Cafepress Attempted Murder Mug from the cabinet and chuckle at the crow joke as you start brewing.

5—With caffeine in hand, you head to your “office” (today, it’s your actual desk, but tomorrow, it might be the coffee shop or your bed). Once you set your mug down, you fluff the Etsy-sourced Til Your Unsolvable Murder Do Us Part Pillow in your chair and sit down, settling it into the perfect spot behind your back.

6—From your left, you grab the Mystery—Everyone Is A Suspect Notebook from Amazon and check the To Do list from yesterday so you can move everything you didn’t finish over to the next page. It’s a longer list than you remembered . . .

7—You reach for the Crime Scene Do Not Enter Gel Pen from Etsy, then click the top and start filling out the day’s list of tasks. Once you add new items to those that were incomplete from the day before, you get the feeling you’re forgetting something important.

8—The Year of True Crime Page-A-Day Calendar from Amazon confirms your fear—it’s your good friend’s birthday. You add “deliver birthday gift” to your list, just so you have something easy to cross off later, then turn to your computer.

9—As you boot up to check your emails and pay what seems to be an ever-growing pile of bills, you smile at the Redbubble Rainy Days and Crime Books Mousepad. After skimming past the emails you don’t feel like reading and the bills that can wait a few more days, you figure “just a few minutes” of social media couldn’t hurt.

10—When you glance up at your Crime Time Wall Clock from Society6, you are shocked to discover that nearly three hours have passed. You’re going to be late for meeting your friend if you don’t get moving right now!

11—It’s a sunny day, according to the light streaming through the window, so you hurry to your room and grab your I’m Only Here To Establish My Alibi Hat from Redbubble, then spend five minutes trying to find your keys.

12—Finally, the shiny Blood Stains Are Red Keychain from Amazon catches your eye, and you grab the keys, shouting in triumph! After slipping on your shoes, you collect anything else you need and head out the door. You climb into your vehicle and get all the way down the street before you realize that you forgot your friend’s present.

13—You mutter something best left unheard by innocent ears and turn around. Parked once more, you run back into the house and go straight to where you left the bag, but it isn’t there. Then it hits you—you moved it the other day so you would be able to find it easily. Sure enough, it’s sitting right out in the open, so you snatch up the bag containing the Serial Killer Playing Cards from Amazon and rush to meet your friend, definitely not speeding down the road at all.

14—Your friend loved the gift, as you knew she would, and you even got to play a few rounds of your favorite card game before she had to leave. When you pull back up in front of your home, sunlight glints off the No Trespassing—We’re Tired Of Hiding The Bodies Sign that you put outside as soon as it arrived from Amazon the other day, and it makes you smile.

15—After you kick off your shoes, you realize you’re starving, so you head into the kitchen for a late lunch and start rummaging through the fridge. You stare blankly into the same cabinet for the third time, then close it with a frown. It’s so strange to you that a kitchen full of food could contain nothing to eat. Your eyes fall on Amazon’s The Serial Killer Cookbook, and a lightbulb goes off. You flip to your favorite recipe and see that you have all the ingredients.

16—Food is ready! The thought of doing more dishes later is not appealing, though, so you reach for the Murder Mystery Paper Plates you bought from Zazzle and serve up lunch.

17—Once you sit down to eat, you immediately get back up because you didn’t realize the Crime Scene Tumbler from Etsy is half empty. You can’t even remember how it wound up in your possession, but it works well, so you keep using it.

18—When you are finally satiated, you take your plate to the kitchen and wash your hands. You start to dry them on your pants but stop yourself at the last minute because you have something even better that you got from Etsy—the Does This Towel Smell Like Chloroform To You Tea Towel!

19—Later that evening, you are more than ready for some downtime. Though you haven’t decided whether you’re going to watch or read something first, you do want to set a little atmosphere. So, you light your This Is My True Crime Watching Candle, and it gives off the perfect scent.

20—From the drawer, you pull out the Evidence Bag Zippered Pouch your friend gave you on your birthday. They even filled out some of the details, which cracks you up every time you look at it.

21—You open the pouch and search through various pens, nail clippers, and other miscellaneous items until you find what you were looking for—one of the True Crime and Horror Lip Balms you got from an Etsy store. You have several and love them all, so you grab the first one you wrap your fingers around and gently coat your dry lips.

22—Finally ready to relax, you crawl into your favorite spot and pull the Don’t Interrupt—I’m Solving Murders Blanket over you. Snuggling down into a comfy position, you turn off your brain for a little while.

See? What did I tell you? A list of useful and thematic gifts for you or someone you care about. There are countless options out there for the crime or mystery lover in your life, so keep exploring and digging through sites like a detective searching out the best solutions.

If you’re wondering what makes cozy mysteries so popular, read our article titled Cozy Mystery: The Most Marketable Fiction Genre. If you already love them and are thinking about writing one, then you might be interested in So, You Want To Write A Cozy Mystery Series?

We’d love to hear from you, so feel free to write to us using the form below and let us know what fun gift ideas you’ve discovered!

Leave a Reply

Your email address will not be published.